What's this AFL Slime business?
It's AFL Slime because the slimes wear AFL team guernseys. The AFL is the Australian Football League if you're wondering. This game is in no way supported by or endorsed by the AFL.

Where are all the points?
Unlike normal Slime Volleyball, AFL Slime counts upwards from zero, instead of sharing points between the slimes. The highest scorer at the end wins.

I know about that but I still don't get any points.
Ahh, so you would be in warm up mode. Just click the mouse again to play for real.

Why do I get big dots?
One big dot is worth a goal, ie six points.

Why is there a number on my big dots?
That's the number of goals you have. It can be difficult to see how many goals you have once you get to about six or seven.

My dots have disappeared under the timer.
You should play someone else who is a bit better at the game!

Warm up mode is stupid.
No, it saves people playing a whole game to warm up. And it gives you a chance to enter the secret codes.

Why can't I change teams?
You can only change teams in warm up mode. Have you ever seen a footy team run out with another team's outfit on after a break? No. Slimes don't change sides during a game either.

What is a clanger?
A clanger is when you don't bother to move to hit the ball and you lose the point, you spike the ball into the net and lose the point, you have control of the ball (have touched it at least 3 times) and can't get it back over, or if your serve doesn't go in.

What is a winner?
A winner is when your opponent doesn't touch the ball when it crosses the net and you win the point. An ace is not considered to be a winner.

What is the difference between touches and possession?
A touch is when you touch the ball, possession measures the time the ball spends on your side of the net. Hence they are different.

How do I get to play at night time?
Wait for the sun to go down. And then turn on the lights. Oh, you mean to make the game look like it's night time? Easy, just type "NIGHT" in warmup mode.

Why does "PLAY ON!" appear every time I serve?
Well you've moved off the mark and so you have to play on. More importantly, the clock is stopped until the play on call, so time between the end of the last point and the server playing on is not counted as game time.

What is time on?
It's the sum of all the time that the ball is not in play, which is after the end of a point, before play on is called and when you're viewing a replay.

How do I see how much time on there is?
You wait until the end of the half. After all, it's AFL Slime and not NBA Slime (so you can't see the clock ticking down). And it makes close games more exciting to play and watch, coz the game could end any second. If you really don't like it, then type "TIMER" in warm up mode to have a countdown timer.

Why does the clock still run when I'm watching a replay?
Because you don't get transferred to an alternate universe where time stands still when you watch a replay. Really, it's because I consider it as time when the ball's not in play, so it can be added in time on.

Why does "BALL..." appear on my screen sometimes?
It means that you're going to be pinged for holding the ball if you keep it much longer. See below.

What is holding the ball?
It's when the ball has been on your side of the net for five seconds. You should be able to get rid of it in less than two or three seconds and this rule is included to speed up play. It's also important so people can't waste time near the end of a close game. Note that the five seconds doesn't start until play on is called if you're serving. You can turn this off if you don't like it.

How do you get to be that flashing Slime?
Easy, just win six points in a row against your opponent. Then you'll be Super Slime and you'll get to move twice as fast. Or, you could just type "SUPER" in warmup mode to turn both slimes into Super Slimes.

How come there's bits of yellow over the screen sometimes?
Thats where the ball has been and it's had to be moved for some reason, so the drawing of the old ball position doesn't completely wipe out all of the yellow. Stop being picky.

Hey the ball just teleported or went through me!
Yeah, it's what's called a "dodgy translation". Slime physics is slightly different to real world physics and sometimes dodgy translations occur.

Man I had a great replay, how can I show other people?
I actually wrote stuff to save replays on this server last year (2001) but I got told off for not preventing googlebots from searching all the replay pages (I think I was getting almost a thousand a week) which apparently did bad things to the server - it "caused the load on tartarus to go to 180 when it was accessed by the googlebot". Since then, PHP scripting has been taken off the server for "security reasons". I won't be finding an alternate server in a hurry, though.

What's with the team names? And the dodgy jumpers?
Well... it's hard to draw polygons for little things and position them right on the slimes, and it's especially hard to get the colours right when you're colour blind. Anyway, here's a little info on each team:

• West Coast Slime represents the West Coast Eagles. I can't draw a stupid eagle that changes colours easily in Java, so ner.
• Anchor Slime represents the Fremantle Dockers. That's supposed to be a big white anchor on the slime, not a down arrow. Java doesn't have a convenient drawAnchor() method so the arrow will do for now.
• Alpha Centauri Slime represents the Kangaroos, who were known as North Melbourne, then played home games in Sydney and now Canberra. One wag said that they'll be playing home games on Alpha Centauri soon, hence the name.
• Eddie McSlimer represents the Collingwood Magpies. Eddie McGuire is the Prez of that club and you can guess the rest.
• "Yellow and Black!!" Slime represents the Richmond Tigers. It's not just un-imaginative because they are the colours worn by the Tigers but it's the main part of their club song.
• Bomber Slime represents the Essendon Bombers. I couldn't think of a better name, email me with one!
• Navy Blue Slime represents the Caaarlton Blues. Once again, it's not my lack of imagination but from the club song. Also, that squiggle on the front reads CFC, for chlorofluorocarbon oops, Carlton Football Club.
• Hawthorn Slime represents the Hawthorn Hawks. Just like Hawthorn were unimaginative with their mascot, so am I.
• Ford Factory Slime represents the Geelong Cats. There's a Ford factory in Geelong, and they're sponsored by Ford, I think. The footy team that is, not Ford. Ford sponsoring Ford would be stupid.
• Sydney Slime represents the Sydney Swans. Sure, it's not very imaginative, but I thought maybe that's what the company known as Sydney water actually pump out. I can't be bothered drawing an Opera House down the bottom of the red V for the moment.
• Demon Slime represents the Melbourne Demons. Hmmm... email me with a better name.
• Camry Slime represents the Adelaide Crows. They have a big "CAMRY" written on their outfit. More stripes on the slime means more work and slowing the game down, so the three stripes will do for now.
• Saint Slimer represents the St Kilda Saints. Read the bit I wrote for Hawthorn, it applies here too.
• Western Bullslime represents the Western Bulldogs. Apparently they real Bulldogs got that name a long time ago when a real bulldog ran out in front of the team before a game. So this time round, the slime can run out as the team. Of course, because they're a Bullslime, there's no need to draw a Bulldog on the front, and there's nothing there at all because no one has ever seen a Bullslime.
• Brisbane Slime represents the Brisbane Lions. Maybe there's a Brisbane Water company too? The lion is very hard to draw using polygons and circles and that so I didn't bother. I'm sure you don't mind.
• Slime Power represents the Port Adelaide Power. I couldn't be bothered fully doing their strip so the result is what you see.

Why are West Coast and Freo the starting teams?
Because most of us that play this game are in West Australia and they're the two teams from this side of the country.

Why are the teams in that weird order?
Because that's the order I made it in. And that's how it'll stay.

You should have overtime if there's a draw.
No I shouldn't. A draw is a draw. If you want to decide who's really the best, then play another game and waste more time!

You should play the team songs at the end of the game!
No I shouldn't! The songs are copyrighted and would take a long time to download anyway.

Why is there an Orangeroo slime?
Because that actually happened (the Kangaroos changed their strip to orange and white for one game).

Why isn't there a Light Blue Slime or Yellow St Slimer then?
We (me and other people) never figured out who Carlton played when they were light blue M&Ms. Also, you would have noticed that the Saints wore their strip with the black cross when they played in yellow, which they don't wear in AFL Slime.

I wanna make my own mod. Where can I get the code?
Right here. There's some code that you'll need to comment out because your server won't have my own very special scripts to save the replays and game data. But that's clearly shown, so if you have eyes, you should be able to see what to cut out.

Last updated: 16/06/2002